Yesterday was not one of my better days at work. Things have been challenging, and not really from a technical standpoint. I vented perhaps a bit too much. But, you know, you move on. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized that I miss having a man. Really miss having a man. After all, there are those days after a rough day at work, that you just want to get home and get laid. Those days that after a rough day at work, you want a rough night in bed to compensate. (And this is why, ladies and gentleman, I don’t sign up for improv).
If it was really that important to me, I’d get out and date again. So it was interesting to read this article in The Atlantic about marriage, though it could be any long term relationship. It talks about kindness and generosity, not physical intimacy. In many popular articles and forums, sex is often consider a barometer of a relationship; and sometimes there’s a causation relationship to that, but sometimes it’s only a correlation. I know for me, I really was in denial about the end of my marriage, and so I tried to keep that part going, even though we weren’t doing anything for the rest of the relationship. And it’s mind-boggling to think that I was intimate with my ex somewhere on the order of 1,500 times. I’m sure that’s low for some, but I’d have to be in a relationship for awhile to rack that up again. In any case, it didn’t save us. It wasn’t enough.
There is definitely a thrill to the dance of attraction, a thrill to the flirting and the fantasying, even if it never pans out. There is thrill to a new relationship when it does pan out. Who doesn’t love exploring, kissing, touching? Best thing ever! But in the long haul, true connection can only be gained by investment, by kindness, by the worth of someone’s character. And if you’re going to be physical with someone in the 4 or 5 digit range, it’s going to need that foundation to still be good. Here’s hoping I break that record of mine someday.