I was listening to the radio and a woman was calling in about her Facebook rules. “Only positive stuff,” she said, “and no profanity.” I do try to keep to the no profanity and generally I keep to the positive stuff. But sometimes it seems so artificial. Yeah, none of us have problems, not real ones. No one wakes up in the middle of the night and goes, “Oh god, I’m an adult, I’m supposed to have figured this out.” No one feels scared during the middle of the day with a panic attack, feeling like Oh god oh god I can’t do this, I can’t. Being an adult means not letting the feelings intimidate you, at least outwardly. And being an adult means being proud of who you are, what you do. If other, influential people was something else from you, then it’s time to put yourself in different circles.
I was reading a post on Cracked: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person. At the end, the author says that you should “focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people.” I agreed with the gist of the article, it is harsh but true – we rely on other people. For our friendships, for our work, for our happiness. I’ve been pretty good at being interesting enough to attract friends, evidenced by the fact that I have some really great people in my life. The jury is still out on how valuable I am though at work. 🙂
But part of my new position means dealing with more uncomfortableness, more uncertainty, and taking responsibility for past actions and decisions of other people at my company. And sometimes, man, it sucks. But what are you going do? There’s no point in being too honest at work – you get pegged as being too negative, and once that happens, it’s hard to get people to listen to you. Plus, if I’m feeling excessively stressed I ask myself, “Could I die in this scenario?” No. I’m a white collar worker, there’s really no possibility of death in a bad decision. Will this matter in a hundred years? No, because I will be dead. This must be the ex-goth in me, that finds even asking these questions hilarious. All a matter of perspective!
But it is sad that we, as a culture, find it hard to maintain balance between the negative and the positive. As though life is supposed to be all good, and if it’s not, it’s probably your own fault. Or on the other perspective, life is always hard and depressing and only a lucky few are truly happy. I tend to believe we are here for the challenges. We are here because part of us knows this IS all temporary, that we don’t have to be so anxious, so fearful. That in the end, we are only are own avatars. Yes, this stuff is important, but only because of what it teaches us. After all, you can’t take anything physical with you after death. But the maturity of adulthood -being honest but positive about the struggles, feeling but not being drowned by emotion–these are the things I am still working on.