So last weekend I went to the Fireball Masquerade Ball, mostly because I knew the bellydance troupe that was performing and it sounded pretty cool. I had tickets in advance and my brother went with me, which was nice. We got there right at 9:00 pm when the doors were supposedly open, but there were already a bunch of people inside. All seating was pretty much taken. I had some drinks and met my friend Christy, which was good too. And all in all I had a good time, but. . .well, I ended up leaving before it finished because I guess I’m an old fogie now.
The performances were supposed to start at 10:00 pm but they waited for people to keep coming in so it didn’t start until 11:00 pm. I was close to the stage, but still couldn’t see half of what was going on, as everyone was standing (and I am a tall girl!). Ashar Dance was great, as I expected, but sadly there was no fire dance, due to insurance reasons. The bar was completely swamped, so you had better be prepared to tip to get any kind of service. I did have a good time with Iain and Christy–but I can see why an older crowd starts to prefer things like the Overture. Reserved seating, performances that start on time and earlier–yes, I’m just not getting to be hip.
It’s funny, because sometimes I miss the days of going out with my old pals Cyndi and Maria at the Inferno, but I forget it was sometimes hit or miss. I loved the dressing up and putting on makeup, but at the same time, it could feel so empty and fake. Like the alcohol is there to help you pretend to be someone more attractive and cooler than you really are. I’m not on the market, so I’m not looking for a date. And I have to say, I find myself more interested in doing the bellydance events rather than the goth events because I feel more connection there.
But of course, these are the kinds of thoughts one has when you’re just concerned about the kingdom in your skull. The choice to have a good time or not is always up to me, my interpretation of events, what I bring in. And it’s strange to think about all the beautiful people there and their stories. Were other people just into it, no baggage, no feelings of emptiness? Other moms getting away from their kids, trying to feel beautiful? Newbies that had never seen burlesque or steampunk? I guess I wonder if part of me is just always feeling a little awkward, a little like I don’t belong. I don’t know what that’s all about.