I’m still a bit jetlagged, or maybe coming down with a cold, but I went to work today and was not very productive. I even forgot my lunch, so in the morning I stopped to get a cafe miel and a chocolate croissant for lunch later. Yes, so very healthy. But it did the bill and I finished my book. Luckily, it ended up on a happy note. One thing that doesn’t seem to change about me is my obsession with death. I really want to get to that state where everything is as it should be, where I feel that peacefulness. I got into that state for a period of time, but it is hard to maintain.
I went and picked up Rowan today so that we could pick out a present for her friend, who’s having a birthday tomorrow. Then we swung back by daycare to pick up Nova afterwards. I asked Rowan if she wanted to come in or stay in the car. “Stay in the car,” she said.
So I got Nova and she was super tired. I put her into her carseat and she started to cry. Got back to the car and there was Rowan, sobbing. “I changed my mind, I wanted to go with you,” she said in between sobs, “but you were already gone.” They both cried on the way home, which luckily is a short drive. But when Nova would wail, Rowan would stop and between sobs say, “It’s okay, Nova huh huh huh, it’s okay.” I had to stifle a smile.