This past weekend, my friend Heather came to visit. She was in town for a jewelry convention, the kind for actual jewelers. She is in training to become a goldsmith, which is pretty awesome. She has great manual dexterity, so it is a natural fit for her. We were talking about college (we were roommates in college) and I realized how much stuff my brain has gotten rid of. I really need to keep up with my blog and/or journal, because seriously, the stuff that she remembers and I don’t is amazing. Like I should have her write my memoirs and compare it to what I would write.
Memories are a strange thing anyways, what we decide to keep and what we don’t. And it’s strange how long ago college was for me. I am grateful for how great my life turned out.
I have been feeling quite a bit mortal these days. My father-in-law has gotten worse. Leif’s mom wrote him in an email that he keeps falling down and she finds it difficult to help him get back up. But the most telling part is that she is investigating hospice, and he is okay with that. I’m starting to wonder if he’s going to make it through the year–or if he makes it through Christmas will he let go in the death months of January and February? I feel sad that it’s looking like Nova will have no memories of him. Nothing to be done about though–people die and people are born, and it goes on and on.
I was rocking Nova to sleep and gazing at her by the dim light of the nightlight and thinking, How beautiful she is. How lucky I am. I don’t really believe life is a zero-sum game, but it is odd to think that while I am here, in this quiet house, filled with quiet joy, there is chaos and sadness and death somewhere else. And there is also sunlight and cheering and passionate lovemaking somewhere else. Every emotion is happening, somewhere. It makes me feel strange to think of it. Maybe that’s why I prefer the mornings more. Night makes me all pensive and broody, even though I would say overall, I’m pretty happy.