A while back, I was talking to my brother about how I miss the sun in the winter and get depressed. He looked at me and said, “But you’re supposed to be the goth one, you’re supposed to love darkness and night.” “I know,” I said, “but I’ve changed.” And it’s true, I miss the sun when it’s not around.
This was a good winter in that I actually got to see the sun, as I was home on maternity leave. But boy oh boy, am I glad to see winter leave. I’ve been taking walks with Nova, and it’s great to get outside and get some fresh air. It will be even better when Nova is more used to the bottle, so I can get out and take a run at dawn, I miss those. Crazy, isn’t it? My 20-year old self wouldn’t even recognize me.
Yesterday, I took Nova into daycare for a couple of hours to introduce her to the ladies who will soon be taking care of her. I came home and it was positively odd to be home all by myself. Wow, I loved it, my 2 hours were up far too soon. Of course, I used my time for boring paperwork (bleh), but it needed to be done. And then Leif came home early–again. Ugh. I am glad he is working, but with Nova going into full time daycare soon, it bugs me that he can’t always get 40 hours a week. He’s much less perturbed about it than I am, he figures he’ll keep working there and if it folds, he’ll look elsewhere. I think part of being a mother is making sure everybody is taken care of, and a variable paycheck just messes me up.
But despite that, I know this will be a much better year than 2009. I’ve got several goals again for this year–the main one is clearing up some financial stuff and checking up on our credit scores. Leif has already said that he wants to go to the Crown Cap convention next year, and our deal is–he gets a trip, I get a trip. (I usually go to Boston, but Stacy wants to do a girls-only trip to Las Vegas one of these years) I want to finish my hoodoo course that I started last year and got put on hold with the pregnancy stuff. I would like to resume my bellydancing classes, but that probably won’t happen until the fall at the earliest. If I put in a lot of hard work this year, then next year will be pretty fabulous. Plus, it will be 2011, my favorite number. (I’m going by 11, not 13)
And. . . there have been some changes made at work, which will benefit me. I don’t want to go into it too much in a public blog, but the upshot is that I can relax a bit now at work and now worry about things so much. Mornings are going to be a bit crazy with getting everyone ready, but we’ll figure it out. Maybe Leif and I can start having arguments about makeup again, haha. It goes something like this:
Him: “Why do we need to get up so early?”
Me: “Because I want to take a shower AND brush my teeth AND put in contacts AND wear makeup.”
Him: “You don’t need to put in contacts, you look fine.”
Me: “I like myself better with contacts. I’m putting them in.”
Him: “We don’t have time for you to put on makeup. You look fine without it.”
Me: “I wear moisturizer with sunscreen, eyeliner, and lip stain. Give it up. It takes, at the most, 10 minutes, makes me feel better AND I’m more productive at work when I feel moderately attractive. And in the time it takes for you to argue about it, I will argue back for another 10 minutes as to why I need to do this and we’ll be even more late.”
Okay, we don’t do that every morning, but when he brings it up, I have to laugh, because I’m a girl. An ex-goth girl. I love him, but he’s not going to win an argument about eyeliner with me. 🙂