Today, Nova had her two week appt and is doing well. She’s gained her weight back and was a healthy 9 lbs 1 oz, which I wasn’t surprised at. I don’t think I’m going to bother with weight checks until her next appt at two months. She’s somewhere in the 90th percentile for weight and high 70th percentile for length.
I am physically feeling so much better, although I still need to incorporate some daily exercise on a consistent basis. And I got a visit from an old friend yesterday, Laura with her two daughters, so that was neat. (And she brought food and cookies!) So things on the child-rearing front are going well.
Which means for me I need to start working on the other aspects of my life. I’m a big believer in “The unexamined life is not worth living,” perhaps too much so, because it is easy to sit and think (or brood) without accomplishing much of anything. My life has been a series of fits and starts, make a little progress, stasis, then move again. Being pregnant was a form of stasis, and now I’m not. And I try to work from a viewpoint that I am 100% responsible for my own life. That may seem to be an obvious truth, but it is both a hard burden and immense freedom if you truly believe it.
There are three big things I want in my life–a deep, real connection to my kids, a fulfilling career that makes a difference in the world, and an authentic, meaningful relationship with another person. I have to say, I feel like I have that connection with Rowan, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep that. But the other two. . . let’s just say, there’s work to be done. I’ve been complacent a lot of my life, and didn’t even realize it. It’s not hard to admit that things aren’t perfect, because, hey what is? But it is hard to admit that the only true control I have over anything is myself, and life is built of little choices, the things I do and the things I don’t, and it adds up. Am I building a wall or a castle?