So our family has become a one income, one car household. I’m hoping it will be short transition period, but I’m not as upset as one might think. This path started last spring when my husband’s sister approached him about being in a movie. They are starting a film division and wanted him & Lars to star in their movie, “2012: Devolution.” I believe that filming was originally supposed to start in May.
Well, what happened is that a tree fell on Lars instead, putting him in the hospital. He had a close shave with death, honestly. He’s lucky to be alive. In any case, filming was postponed until the fall. Leif was still a little on the fence about acting, but Lars also asked him to be in it, and when your brother who almost dies asks a favor, well then . . .
In addition, over the summer my mother called and wanted to know if we could do a family vacation, my parents, brother, Leif, Rowan, and myself. She offered to pay for a beach house, we just had to get ourselves to Maine. I figured we should, because after this baby is born we probably won’t be taking any vacations anywhere for quite awhile. My mom didn’t actually know if she could get the time off (she’s a nursing administrator) but she did. And that’s when the problems started.
My husband’s work denied his request for vacation, though he had the vacation time. Someone else was off that week, although that person has a totally different job function. As he knew that he would also need October off (far more than one week in the summer), he decided to resign. Oh, there were other factors of course, but like me he is paranoid about posting detailed information about his job on the web.
So come August, he put in his notice. We spend a week in Maine, which was enjoyable for the most part. It was the first time Leif and Rowan had been to the ocean in New England. And we got back and Leif has been Mr. Mom, as Rowan started kindergarten this year.
Of course, the day before we flew out the Camry started acting weird. I managed to drive it to the mechanic and left it there for the week we were gone. Turns out the transmission was shot–I could replace the entire engine at a cost of $3,000. We decided to junk it at that point and try our hand at living with just one car, as my husband is not working. Well, let me rephrase–my husband is no longer bringing home a paycheck. I think this September was a great month for him. He got to take Rowan to school and bring her home, and worked on some house stuff that he’s been meaning to do for ages.
And now that it is October, he has been gone quite a bit for his role in the upcoming movie. He’s not getting paid for it, but he’s not financing it either. Financially, we have been holding our own, but he will most likely need to bring home a paycheck when this is all over. Which is too bad, he would really love to stay home with the kids if he could. So funny, because I’ve always known that though I want kids, I do not want to stay at home with them. Nope, being a housewife is not for me.
And sadly, it comes down to our debt. We probably could make it on my income if it weren’t for our debt load. So next year, after the baby is born, it will be time to get serious about erasing that once and for all. Money is one of those things I have both loved and hated, and part of my growing up this year is tackling the thorny problems that I have ignored for a long time. I am ashamed that I have debt, I have always considered myself good with money. And yet, here we are, hemmed in by a multitude of spending choices made over the years.
This year started out pretty rocky, but I am happy that I am pregnant with a healthy baby. If everything goes well, we’ll have this baby, I’ll get myself fixed, and I won’t have to worry about whether or not I’ll ever be pregnant again. Leif’s job situation is a little odd, but I’m trying out this new belief system, the belief that though you can’t see the road, it will be ok. And sometimes to move forward, you have to step back and away–it could be from a job, a relationship, anything.
I don’t want to be complacent anymore, and if I really want a great life, I’m going to need to be open to the impossible and open to change. And right now, we are paying our bills, and we have food and roof over our heads. I have a husband that I know loves me and gives me my freedom, something that I’ve discovered is probably the most important issue for me. I have a daughter who is funny and smart, whose beauty I still marvel at, and she loves me too! And I find the most fabulous people to be friends with. I think I’m at the point where whatever I decide to do, I will find the people who will support and challenge me. That’s great. And I want to be that kind of person for my family as well, my husband, my kids, the people I care about.